Ready for Work?

This is my last week home as a "stay at home mom". I officially start work on the 17th, though I told them they could call me at anytime for a call off. I thought that I was ready to go to work, but after today, I am wondering. I felt a little weepy all day. I can't tell you how many times I teared up when the thought passed through my mind that I was actually going to be leaving my precious baby for eight plus hours. This afternoon when he took his nap, instead of putting him down in his bed, I held him, rocked him, kissed his perfect head, watched him take each breath, and treasured every minute. Will he know that I am gone? I worry that he will wake up in the middle of the night (while I am working), and will cry when I am not there to take care of him. What if he doesn't stop crying? What will happen when he can't be comforted? What if he refuses to take the bottle? (even though he does now). What if he eventually stops nursing, and only takes the bottle? He is so little. So innocent. So precious. Will I ever forgive myself for leaving him? Will he forgive me? My eyes are now red and puffy. Tears are streaming down my face, and I can barely read the computer screen. Will this ever be easy? Should it ever become easy?